"How did this happen?" I'm sure you're wondering.
I was in the church parking lot, leaning into our family car placing my purse, my daughter's bag, and her snacks, and juice cup in the car. My daughter was standing on the ground between my legs and the car and I suddenly felt my daughter move. I looked up from out of the car, to see my two year old running FULL speed in the middle of the church parking lot. I TOOK off running behind her screaming "MAKENNA!! MAKENNA!!" as I saw a car approaching going at least 20 MPH through the parking lot without breaking their speed. My daughter ran full speed towards the front of the moving vehicle, then cut her little ankles and body to the right, barely missing the car as she continued full circle until she ran into her father's arms, who was on the driver's side of our car. My daughter's life flashed before my eyes, and I WASN'T ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! The car continued going, because they truly did not see her.
My husband yelled, "what happened?!" and I couldn't talk. I grabbed our daughter from his arms, held her, then put her in her car seat without saying a word. I then sat in the front passenger seat and LOST IT. At that moment, I realized how my life could have changed in just those split seconds. My husband held me as I screamed, "I JUST COULD NOT CATCH HER!"
"Brittany, it was a mistake baby, and she's okay," my husband kept saying to console me. I felt lifeless as I laid in his arms, crying hysterically in our car. At this point our daughter began crying. My husband at this point was now consoling our two year old telling her, "Momma is okay," and consoling me at the same time saying, "Everything is okay. She is safe now."
I'm 5'10.5, 140 lbs, slim framed, and an athletic built female. "How could I not catch her?" I thought to myself. My body shook the whole 20 minutes of our ride home from church. My husband tried to make everything light by making jokes, starting random conversations, and he even apologized for questioning what happened and continued saying, "mistakes happen baby."
My thoughts shifted from, "I almost let my baby get seriously hurt or killed, and we should be sitting in Children's Hospital right now" to "why did you just show my family so much grace and mercy Jesus?"
I then began to think of how often in life we are given an assignment from the Lord, and don't look after it properly because we're preoccupied doing something else, or....just trying to make ends meet.
- I can't go to school right now because I have all these bills to pay, a job to go to, and children to look after.
- I can't start my own business, because who will support me? Nobody around here has money.
- I'm not applying for other jobs. You know you don't need to be at your current job any longer, but you're comfortable there so you just...stay.
- I'm not relocating to pursue my dreams, because how will I afford this and that? Not to mention that my support system is where I'm currently at.
- I know I need to eat healthier (per doctor's orders to save your own life), but you insist that you just can't afford healthy food, being consistent with meal planning, and a gym membership right now.
- I know I don't need to be in a relationship with this person, but I can't afford to pay rent by myself right now, or I can't stand being lonely so I'll just put up with this dysfunctional relationship.
- And lastly, I can't step out on faith right now and present to the world what God has shown me, because people will think it's not possible, or that I'm too old to fulfill my dreams.
How often do we shift our minds off of our assignments (goals and revelations from God), to take care of our temporary, everyday to-do list? Then, find ourselves RUNNING, CRYING, SHOCKED, AND OVERWHELMED as we try to make sense of what is happening in our lives because we didn't focus on the assignment he has entrusted us with.
I'm writing you to let you know that the grace my family received today, is the same grace that the Lord is extending to you. Your assignment is no longer out of your reach. It's safe back with you.
So I ask, "what are you going to do with it?" Whatever your "it" is!
It's going to cost YOU AND OTHERS if you don't properly look after your assignment(s) the Lord has entrusted you with. PLEASE (with tears in my eyes), keep your eyes on your assignment(s). FOCUS on what's MOST important starting TODAY!
Yes, you may have made bad decisions and have to live with the consequences of those decisions, or haven't followed through with things most important to you, but I'm here to say that God has placed your assignment(s) back in your care. TAKE CARE OF IT NOW. Whatever your "it" is, grab it, work on it, focus on it at all times, and never let IT go!
As you focus on the very things God has placed on your heart, he will provide provision to carry it out.
As I sit in our home office typing this blog, my daughter keeps running in and out of the room dropping dry honey nut cheerios on the floor, talking, laughing, and climbing on furniture. But just a few hours ago, this opportunity to see her laughing and playing was almost taken from me.
(Picture from Makenna's 2nd Birthday party!)
Makenna, I love you and momma can't promise that I'll never make another mistake, but thank you for reminding me that you are one of my most treasured assignments the Lord has given me and to always focus on you. I'm beyond grateful for your little life Makenna Jo!
I'm rooting for every single person who comes across this blog post! I pray that you come to know what your assignment is. I pray you cherish that assignment and never stop working on it, and that as you pursue the very thing God has placed on your heart, that the Lord keeps you and "it" safe from life's distractions.